Well well well, we we're waiting and waiting and waiting for the wooly Ms. Walker to wave the white flag. And wouldn't you know, we're here. (There's a reason our site was in jeopardy in the first place you constant repeating dunderhead.) And what would that be, my sarcastic sounding sidekick? (She said no more alliteration. It was giving our viewers a headache. That's why she sent us on that vacation so she could smooth things over with the audience.) Oh did she really say that? I never got the memo. (What memo? It doesn't take a rocket frickin' scientist to figure out that repeating the same letter over and over and over causes permanent brain damage.) Well, I didn't know...I don't think I've ever felt this responsible for such pain before in my life. Uh, let's just go to the sites...stop! Don't look at me!

The Best Public Toilets
Here's the scenario. You're wandering the streets of a strange city and your bladder tells you it's time to loosen your belt loops and let the juices flow. Where do you go?
(You mean, other than the nearest fire hydrant?)

The Anti-Loser Party
To some, political parties have become the scissors that have cut the United States in two. Now meet the dedicated men and women determined to become the glue that binds them back together.
(These guys have been sniffing that glue, that's for sure.)

National Midget Resistance
You've seen them walking around in "The Wizard of Oz," you've seen them prancing around in "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me," you've seen them dancing around in "Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie."
(Nobody saw that movie.)
Now watch them get trashed and tossed aside like tiny little toadies at the "National Midget Resistance."
(Everybody sing along! "People...people who need people to stand on top of so they can look taller than they already do...")
The views and opinions of our resident loud mouth do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the CEA, it's creators or staff.
(Except me...)

The Banana Museum
They're hanging from trees in the middle of the Amazon to the shelves of the produce aisle of your local grocery store. Now they're on the net and all in one place.
(I'd wait until this page loses it's green color, if you know what I mean.)

President Ford's Pets Page
The White House has had it's hallowed halls hashed and handled by some of the head honchos' hairiest hairballs. Shake hands with the hotspot that has happily held it's head high to hold the highest horde of Gerald's highest valued housepets.
(It's looks like just another presidential poop stain on the rug to me. Next thing you know, they'll be a page dedicated to President Clinton's dogs, and I'm not talking about Buddy.)

The Cow Translation Page
You're in France, and you wish to order the juiciest, thickest slice of Filet Mignon you're hungry stomach wishes to digest and inject into your bloodstream. But how can you be sure the cut you've ordered came from a real cow? Now you can ask even the most unruly French captain if you're cut came from old Bessie herself.
(Insert your own "mad vache disease" joke here)

Pok's Page of Useless Information
Did you know that bubble gum contains rubber? Or that the Pentagon had twice as many bathroom back in the 1940's than it does today? Or that human hair can support up to 6.6 pounds of weight? Well, now you do!
(I just want to know who in the hell names they're children "Pok." It sounds like a retarded Pikachu.)

Yellow Car Picture Index
If it's yellow, and it's got wheels, it's here! All in one place on the Information Superhighway! Pull off to the side of the road to make a pit stop at this mellow yellow hotspot.
(Hmmm, something that's big and yellow and travels at high speeds...the Chiquita Banana Lady on crack?)

The Pi Club
For years, man has pondering it's existence, it's purpose, it's overall meaning. Has man finally found an answer to one of math's most puzzling and perplexing problems? The meaning behind the conundrum that is "Pi."
(Mmmm, I like my Pi with the apple filling...)

Star Wars Astrology
Are you confused about your future but love the drama that is the Star Wars saga? Meet the one spot on the net that combines wooly wookies and jaunty Jawas with astrological forecasting and predictions.
(If you're a male Star Wars fan, I can give you your future. She's going to say, "No.")