By DANNY GALLAGHER

Last Thursday was Veterans' Day and the ABC network decided to capitalize...er...honor their service and ultimate sacrifice by airing an uncut version of one of Steven Spielberg's greats, "Saving Private Ryan."

But because its vivid depictions of war and strong language could be deemed as indecent by the FCC, many local ABC affiliates decided to chicken out and pull it off the air for fear of getting hit with a $1,000 fine and not being able to afford their blow dried, squared jawed news anchors to dumb down the local newscast.

Their fear stemmed from the 2003 broadcast of the Golden Globes (motto: "Do Oscar, Emmy and the People's Choice Award voters hate you? Come, we'll accept you.") when U2 frontman Bono uttered a curse word during his acceptance speech. The FCC fined their ass back into the stone age and have held a "no tolerance" policy towards profane words uttered on the air since thousands of innocent children across the nation heard Bono's naughty no-no where they were flipping channels because "South Park" was on a commercial break.

In total, 65 of ABC's 200 affiliates across the nation pulled the movie, which turned out to be unfounded since none of the remaining affiliates have been fined for airing it. But what's surprising is most of these chicken-hearts weren't in small, southern Bible belt towns where old, blue haired women flood the FCC with letter after letter when they see a raised hemline that reveals too much ankle.

Some of the affiliates were in big cities like Atlanta, Charlotte, Des Moines and Lincoln. Even WGNO-TV in New Orleans, my hometown, pulled the plug on the realistic war epic because they felt it might be deemed as indecent, which is irony in motion when you realize they're located in a town that has more indecent behavior per square foot than Key West, South Padre Island and the Kennedy compound combined.

The problem isn't that it's indecent for television or obscene for the viewer's eyes. The truth is it's too realistic for television. The sitcoms, the primetime dramas and even the news broadcasts have all been sanitized for your consumption. It's pre-packaged shlock with corporate sponsorships that doesn't challenge your thinking or take you to worlds you haven't seen before or only imagined in the back of your mind.

That's why most of the movies shown on Memorial or Veterans' Day on television are those early propaganda war films where the steel eyed hero saves the day despite incredible odds and never shows the slightest ounce of emotion or fear when the bastards are closing in around them. There was never a John Wayne war movie where he breaks down in the middle of the battlefield, sobs like a Girl Scout with skinned knees and tells his men, "Listen, I just need a hug right now. Any takers?"

I don't know what war looks like. I've never served in the military or witnessed it firsthand but I know the images on CNN and the Fox News Channel are 100 times worse than they make them out to be. And as appalling and violent as the images are in "Saving Private Ryan," I'm sure they're not even close to being a visual substitute for the real thing. But what's important is their intent. Most of the other war movies try to show war as entertainment. "Saving Private Ryan" and a select few like it try to show war for what it is.

Besides, watching "Saving Private Ryan" is the least most people did on Veterans' Day anyway. I'll bet half of ABC's viewers didn't even realize it was Veterans' Day when "Saving Private Ryan" aired uncut in those select few areas. They must have thought Spielberg finally became the ruler of the world and started preparing for his reign by memorizing lines from "1941" since it's going to become the new holy scripture.

But that's the true danger of popcorn war movies - ignorance. When audiences get sanitized images of war, they forget the sacrifices others before and around them made and what they had to go through in order to preserve the way of life for them and millions of other people who will never get to thank them.

Think about that the next time you're watching "Rambo III" in between the gagging and the yawning, of course.

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©2003 by Danny Gallagher